Resources for Growing in the Here and Now

On Monday I talked about meeting God in your mothering because your parenting and your spiritual life are not mutually exclusive. Now, there are some great resources out there to help you along the way.

• The Jesus Storybook Bible - This children's picture Bible does a great job creating a whole narrative out of the Bible that all connects and points to Jesus as the Savior of the world. Not only will your children love it (it's written for mid-elementary school children, but my two-year-old has recently reached the point that he loves to listen to it). And you will probably see Scripture in a new light and from a new angle while you're reading!
• YouVersion and Bible.com - The Bible App is available for all your electronic devices. It's great to have your Bible available just about anywhere, but what I particularly want to point out here is that most translations have an audio version available built directly into the app that you can stream and listen to during the day. 
• Seeds Family Worship - Bible verses set to fun, modern, praise-and-worship style music. I keep some of these both in my car and in my sons' room. You will find that not only will your kids think they are fun, but you will catch yourself memorizing Scripture too!
• Thriving Family - Put out by Focus on the Family, this magazine and corresponding website are offered totally free! Each month's issue offers practical tips on how to fit faith in to your family and point your children to Jesus. They also have a great archive of family devotional activities that you can do during meals, on a walk, or even in the car!
• Quiet Waters - This church-wide spiritual retreat happens twice a year at Two Rivers Church, and the fall 2013 event is next week! This is an event that we regularly attend as a family. While you may not normally think about taking your children to a retreat, we are always blown away by how excited other people are that we are exposing our children to this type of event (instead of being annoyed by them, like we might expect). Try out just a couple of sessions together, or take a leap and try the whole thing!

What other ideas or resources do you use to seek Jesus as a family? Leave other ideas or links in the comments so we can all benefit from them!

A Moment for Your Monday: Growing in the Here and Now

When your first child is born, everything changes. Your priorities. Your schedule. Your budget. Your home. Everything. Suddenly all bets are off.

I think we all feel pulled in two different directions at this point. First of all, mothering is a new adventure! It's exciting, everything is new, and we love it. We begin to understand God as our Father in a whole new way - a very personal way. But the flip side is that we have to find our footing in life all over again. We feel discouraged when we don't make that transition seamlessly and everything takes time and effort to settle into place (and more time, and more, and more with each child that comes along and tweaks the systems a little differently).

For a while I felt this tension in my spiritual life. If it was a challenge to find quiet time with Jesus as a single person, it was impossible with a new baby. If I had to rearrange my schedule to be involved in ministries, now I also had to arrange care for my children. And forget about attending a conference or retreat! While I felt I was really stepping into what God was calling me to do with my life (raising children to follow him), I felt like I had to abandon so much of my relationship with God to my relationships with my children.

And I know it's not just me. I hear this tension coming through constantly from other young mommies - and even some not-so-young ones. It's a normal learning curve. But I want to share with you today what God has been revealing to me about this.

God is a very present help and guide in your mothering.

Let me say that another way: Your spiritual growth and your mothering are not mutually exclusive, nor did God intend for them to be. God did not ordain before the beginning of time for you to do good works that will destroy your connection with him. There's a re-learning curve, but our spiritual lives are not demolished when we become parents. So what does that look like?

God is speaking to you. He speaks when you are alone and still and quiet, but he speaks just as clearly when your two-year-old spills a measuring cup of wine all over your feet, the floors, and up the walls thirty minutes before dinner company arrives because he "wanted to help you cook" (you know, hypothetically...). Sure, it takes more practice to hear his still, small voice in that moment. But the things he wants to show and teach you in that moment are not any less important or profound because you are not closeted away with your Bible. When you choose to seek God at all times, you will be amazed at what he is speaking to you and showing you in the midst of your mothering.

God honors your mothering. My husband and I agreed very early on that we wanted our children to see us serving, worshiping, and helping others from a very young age. That means that they often come to events, conferences, and church events with us. This was a new practice for us because suddenly we had to bring toys and activities to keep them busy and happy, sometimes we have to step out because they are tired or hungry, and we always have one eye (or hand, or both) on a child. It means that I can't fast with everyone else because I am pregnant or nursing, I can't block out everything going on around me during worship because I need to make sure my son isn't running out the door behind me, and one or both of them is bound to say or do something disruptive while someone else is talking or praying - it's just going to happen. And that can be a hard reality for us to adjust to, but the truth is that our experience is not any less valid than everyone else's because of it. We are reflecting on God while explaining to our kids why we are doing what we're doing. We're getting back to the heart of worship by holding our littles and teaching them what it looks like to honor God.

God honors the faith of little children. Girl, play those Bible memory song cd's, read that children's Bible story book, act out the story of the Good Samaritan or David dancing before the Ark of the Covenant. If you seek God in those things rather than just going through the motions because you "should do them for your kids," you will find God in those things. God reveals himself to little children just as well as to us and we can experience God in a whole new way by seeing things through their eyes. Think about it - God knew your child would wake up two hours earlier than normal the morning you finally get up in time to have a quiet time, and he's not angry with you for it. He still wants to meet with you. Put worship music or an audio Bible on in the background, show your kids how the same stories in their picture Bibles are also written in your Bibles. Those experiences are not wasted. They are not in vain! Maybe God even meant to meet you that way today, instead of what you expected.

Let me just say that getting away or having quiet time or going on a retreat are not bad things. I'm not advocating that you should never do them again. It's good to refresh and try something new. But let's face it - those times are few and far between and just get fewer and farther with children. Our culture (even our Christian culture) will tell you that that's a bad thing and that you're missing out on something because of it, but that's just not true. Don't lose heart, and don't be discouraged.

You are doing good work. And God is pursuing you right where you are, if you will meet him. Embrace it. Embrace HIM. Embrace the process - because that's ok. It's good!

Your parenting and your spiritual life are NOT mutually exclusive. Nor were they ever meant to be.

A Moment for Your Monday: Finding Quiet Waters

Welcome to a new year of Two Rivers MOPS! We're super excited to be starting back again. Our first meeting will be tomorrow, September 10. To kick us off, here's a new Moment for your Monday...

Fall is always an exciting time in the life of a family. Maybe you have kids starting school for the first time. Maybe you or a spouse are going back to school yourself. There are new sports, new activities, and new ministries to get involved in. You might be leading those activities, or just participating. Either way, you're probably getting excited - about beginnings, about possibilities, about potential.

But there's a downside to the beginnings, possibilities, and potential. It's called busyness. It's easy to do, isn't it? We take on a lot and we shoot for the stars in all we do. But it's quick to catch up with us. This is where I found myself recently. Super excited, but busy. My mind wouldn't shut off. Night after night, I found myself laying wide awake into the early hours of the morning. These were activities I enjoy, but they were beginning to rob me of my sanity. Sleep was elusive, and we all know what a vicious cycle that is with little ones at home!

Finally, after a couple weeks of restless nights, I hit desperation. Laying in bed, my mind racing, I began to recite Psalm 23 in my head. Slowly. Meditating on it. Marveling as the meaning of each line sank in. And there in my fatigue my Shepherd began to minister to me. I was able to rest in green pastures, and finally sank into sleep there beside the quiet waters. I woke hours later to nurse my son, feeling calm and sensing God's presence more closely than I had in weeks. My activities are good. My ministry is important. But I let busyness crowd out the one One who prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies.

During this season of new beginnings and exciting events, I encourage you to take some time to rest. Let Him restore your soul. Don't be drowned in your busyness. Take time to dwell in the house of your Lord until your cup overflows.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. 

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

A Moment for Your (Wednesday): Value

A couple week ago, I had one of those days. You know, one of those epic-mommy-fail-sort of days that go down in the books and you can't forget - no matter how badly you want to.

My newborn isn't sleeping very consistently at night yet (go figure), so I started the day feeling a little threadbare already. As soon as my husband left for the day, my teething two-year old blew out of his diaper. Poop. Everywhere. So I stripped him down and stuck him in the tub for a bit. No sooner did his rear end hit the water than my newborn started screaming to eat. So I retrieved the baby and sat in the bathroom, nursing one while the other bathed.

That's when the FedEx guy came to the door. Now, normal common sense mommy-ing states that you let the door go, leave the package on the step, and continue to sit with your bathing toddler. Except that my phone had inexplicably stopped getting service two weeks earlier with no fix date in sight from the carrier and I happened to know that the FedEx man was delivering my new carrier's SIM card and I had to sign for it.

So, to every pediatrician in the world's horror - I'm sure, I left my older son in the bathtub with strict orders to stay put (I don't recommend doing likewise; I'm putting all my bad-mommy-ness on honest display for you here), unlatched the baby and pulled my shirt back down as I ran to the door. At this point my two very-friendly-but-very-alarmist dogs were howling like crazies. To avoid a bigger scene at the door, I quickly threw them onto our second-story deck long enough to answer the door (we live in an apartment, so they can't get off the deck). As I closed the door, package in hand, I watched the next part unfold in cinematic quality slow motion: one of the dogs lifted his leg and peed all over a flower pot. As I stepped out the door to yell at him, the neighbor on his deck below called out, "please tell me that's water and not dog pee."

Yep. My dog had just peed on my neighbor, as it ran down through the cracks between the deck boards.

I about started crying right then and there. "No, it is," I called back and finally choked out "I'm so sorry!" I rushed to mop up the rest before it got any worse as my toddler called "all done!" from the bathroom and my baby started screaming to finish his meal.

I later emailed my husband (since my phone didn't work and I couldn't call anyone...) to say, "my day is now complete." I did eventually get my older son safely out of the tub and re-dressed, my younger son fed, and finally sulk downstairs to profusely apologize to the neighbors (who were exceedingly gracious and forgiving). But I was pretty drained at this point. I'm not sure how I didn't cry, actually.

Later that day, I managed to get both boys and both dogs out of the house for a brief walk to check the mail and run off some energy. A sweet lady stopped us along the way to exclaim, "You have two kids and two dogs?! How on earth do you manage?" I sighed, gave a weak smile and answered, "Oh, some days I'm afraid I don't manage them very well at all." I'm sure she didn't want to know how I had managed them all that day. The truth is, I was an epic failure of a family manager that day.

We've all had days like this, haven't we? Although, I sincerely hope for the sake of your sanity that your dog has never peed on your neighbor - I'm pretty sure I felt sick to my stomach the whole rest of the day. But we all have days where everything goes wrong and we can't seem to make it right. At the end of those days - and every day, really - I'm so glad that my value does not come from how well I mother, manage my home, or keep everything together. My value does not come from my decisions, my faults, my strengths, or my abilities. I try to do my best every day, but thankfully my value isn't derived from even my "best."

My value comes from Jesus.

There's a reason I bare all my ugly-mommy glory for you here. Because if there's one thing I want you to hear, it's that your value doesn't come from your mommy-ing. It doesn't come from the food you feed your child, or the health choices you make, or how much money you save, or where your child does or doesn't go to school, or how your family behaves in public or dresses... Those are all good things and we do our best. But your value doesn't come from them.

Your value comes from Jesus.

Jesus knows exactly what your value is, because He has already paid it. Your value was worth His life. And He willingly gave it. I'm so thankful that, on good days or really really bad ones, my value doesn't come from my own efforts. And isn't it great that God's mercies are new every morning and His steadfast love endures forever? Sometimes I need to hear it again, and if that's you today, then please hear it:

You are valuable. You are loved. 

A Moment for Your Monday: Potential

My second son joined our family three weeks ago. We were particularly looking forward to meeting this newest little person, because we choose not to find out the gender of our babies ahead of time. That means that we also don't know our baby's name (sure, we pick out two names, but we keep those secret as well and don't use them ahead of time - I'm only just getting used to saying his name three weeks in!) or much about who they will become. We only have a few snippets based on others' prayers and baby's temperament in-utero. It's exciting to finally meet this little mystery person and begin to discover all that they are.

A friend looked at an ultrasound picture while I was pregnant and asked, "Who are you going to be, little one?" And it's that way for all of us. You might have every stitch of clothing already bought and a name picked out and publicly broadcast long before your new one arrives, but you still thrill at finally meeting them. Discovering how they react to the world. Fitting them into your family - whether baby makes three or thirteen! Learning their patterns and habits. It's so exciting to welcome a new baby!

I know, though, that there will come a time when I will get used to everything about this little man. I will know when and why he cries, tell you his precise schedule, get a feel for what clothes he likes and doesn't like, recognize his first words when everyone else hears only babbles... I will know so much about him, that I will assume I know him.

And then I looked at my two-year-old this week - really looked at him. I can tell you so much about him. Even some of his more "adult" traits - the fact that he's very charismatic and laid back in social settings but still thrives on having quiet alone time; the fact that he's a little OCD and likes to line up all of his toy cars and has to have his food on divided plates. I have started to take for granted that I know him so well, and I assume I know all of him.

But here's the truth: there is so much potential in my older son that I haven't even scratched at yet. I don't know how what he will do when he grows up, who he will touch, how he will impact others, the legacy he will leave, or how God will choose to use him. I'm excited all over again to meet this growing little man as he emerges each day.

Sure, it's easy to forget and overlook. I'm sure I will do it tomorrow morning, even after taking time to reflect on it now. Life is busy, and we find a great deal of comfort in our routines. But try it sometime this week: meet your child all over again. What do you have yet to discover? What kind of potential does your child have? What are your deepest prayers for your little ones? Who will they be?

Our nightly prayer mantra struck me anew tonight, thinking about my son. "Lord, let him grow into a strong man who loves you with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and never let him go a day without hearing your voice. Lord, let them." Because now there are two little men in my home that I am so excited to meet over and over again.

A Moment for Your Monday: Momma Prayers

Some things you know, but you have to relearn then a few times - or a million. One of those things I'm relearning yet again is the power of parents' prayers. Did you know that your prayers as a momma are powerful on behalf of your children? We don't always see results right away. Some of us haven't seen results yet, in fact. But I want to encourage you to persist in your prayers like the neighbor who continuously knocks until he gets an answer (check out Jesus talking about it in Luke 11:5-10).

Stuck on what or how to pray? Here are a few ideas to get you started from a book I read recently, Praying Circles around Your Children, by Mark Batterson.

1. Pray the Promises of God. You probably know a lot of the things God promises to his children: "I will never leave you or forsake you," "I will be with you always, even to the end of the age," "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation," and the list goes on. Start with ones you know, and dig into your Bible for more - try the Psalms as a starting point. Then, pray those things for your children. Ask God to fulfill those promises in their lives. 
2. Make Prayer Lists. As you pray those promises of God, make lists of them. Write down the verses and promises and dreams you are praying over your children. Then, pray through that list over and over again. Some days you will feel like a broken record, but remember the persistent neighbor!
3. Create Prayer Mantras. Your prayers are powerful. Your children hearing those prayers can also be incredibly powerful! Think about the things you most want for your children and most want them to know you want - and pray them out loud! At our house our son hears us pray every night, "We pray that he would grow to be a strong man who loves You with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength and never goes a day without hearing Your voice." 
4. Form Prayer Circles. Recruit other people to pray with you! Ask close friends, your children's mentors, family members, etc., to both pray what you are praying as well as ask God to reveal things directly to them to pray. We are strengthened in our faith through community, and praying for our children is definitely a marathon - not a sprint! 
5. Pray Through the Bible. The Word of God is living and active! Why not tap into that power and pray the same things God wants for our children? As you read your Bible, ask God to make certain verses stand out to you - things he would love you to pray over your children. Insert their names into those verses and pray them very specifically. You may even want to get a Bible for each of your children. As you read through it, circle the verses you pray and make notes. Someday, this will be a great gift to each of them to show them what you have been praying all this time!

Don't try to implement all of these things all at once, but pick one (or something else not covered in this book!) and try it out. Work it into your routine before trying another one. For some other resources, check out Warrior Prayers: Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most and 31 Days of Prayer: For Our Daughters.

How about you? What have you learned about praying for your kiddos? What other resources would you love to share?

A Moment for Your Monday: Patience

Have you ever caught yourself doing something for, saying something to, or teaching your own child something that you can just feel God giving right back to you? I think it's incredible the things we learn about God as our Father by being mothers ourselves.

I shared with you a couple weeks ago about my screaming match with God. Later, as I still struggled with my range of emotions and hurt, life was going on as usual. My husband was working late and I was trying to get dinner ready for my son and me. Little man starts to lose patience pretty quickly when daddy doesn't come home at a normal time, which means I often start to lose my own patience on such nights. Please tell me I'm not alone in this...

As I was trying to finish dinner, my son was pitching a pretty good fit over waiting. I tried to reassure him that I was working on it and food would arrive in front of him shortly. My reassurance didn't seem to be doing much. Finally, in an attempt to get his attention, I took his sweet little face in between my hands and put my face very close to his. Softly, I told him, "I see that your frustrated and I know you don't like to wait. But please try to be patient."

I suddenly realized that God could be doing the same thing for me. "I know you're frustrated. I know you don't understand. I know you don't see the big picture. Please try to be patient. I really do know what you need and what the deepest desires of your heart are. I'm working on the best possible thing for you. Just please be patient while I work."

Do you believe that God has the best possible plans for you? Do you believe that he knows what you need and what you want most deeply? Are you willing to trust him? Are you willing to try to be patient?

What is God asking you to wait patiently on?

A Moment for Your Monday: Beyond Myself

We all make the best decisions we can for our children. We do everything we can that we think will keep them healthy, happy, growing, learning, and thriving. And we rejoice when we see the fruit of those things!

My son has been extremely healthy his whole life. I have actually only had to take him to the doctor for illness once in his almost-two-years, and it was overseas on a trip. Sure, he gets colds once in a while, but a week of saline spray and humidifiers usually gets him through it just fine and he really never gets fevers. I realize I have been spoiled, but I love it.

But over the last few years I've grown proud, too. I have slowly attributed his extraordinary health to my choices: feeding him as a newborn, the foods he eats now, how he was weaned in between those two things, the way I treat the first signs of illness, how I keep our home, our routine... you name it. I was proud of how I had made mothering choices and how this had clearly led to a superiorly healthy, thriving child.

Until one night last week, when I held my poor, whimpering, feverish boy at 3:30 am, at a total loss. He had had a low-grade fever for three days and a mild runny nose, but no other obvious symptoms. I had treated him like I always do: lots of water, lots of rest, tylenol for his fever, saline spray and humidifier for his nose, warm baths for all of the above. And after three days of this, he suddenly spiked a fever around 102 in the middle of the third night - the highest he has ever had in his life. I didn't know what else to do to help him. As we snuggled, my heart cried out,

"Jesus, I am beyond myself right now. I have been so proud. I have let my pride run wild. All this time I have contributed my own actions and decisions to keeping my son healthy. But clearly all those things are of no use right now. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I tried to take credit for this incredible little creature that you have knitted and fashioned so amazingly. I need you now. Please, please heal my baby. Jesus, help him feel better. I can't do that - only you can."

I finally went back to bed feeling very small, indeed. Humbled. Silly. Helpless.

In the morning, there was no sign of fever. I could have cried, I was so relieved. It was like Jesus nudging me and saying, "I'm here with you. I love this little guy more than you know. I've entrusted him to you, and you're doing the best you can, but ultimately I am in control. Remember that. And when you come to the end of yourself, I will still be there continuing on where you can't. I don't end. I will never let him go."

Have you ever come to the end of yourself? Maybe you are there right now, and you don't know where else to turn as you try your best to mother. Remember that Jesus is there - beyond the end of you - and is watching over your sweet babies. Will you hand it over to him?

Devotions On The Go

When you have little ones at home, it can feel pretty impossible to fit anything into our days beyond just the bare necessities of survival! It's even more daunting, then, when we think about trying to add spiritual training and resources into our day. Luckily, the Bible tells us to do it while we are doing everything else (check out Deuteronomy 6:7)! Need some help getting started? Here are some great resources for you:

Thriving Family magazine, put out by Focus on the Family, has new "On the Go Devotions" in each month's issue. These are quick, age-adaptable activities that can be done in the car while you're running errands! Check out their archives for lots of ideas (including some meal-time devotions too). And by the way, if you haven't subscribed already, this magazine is totally free!

Here are five great devotion ideas for your on-the-go activities. Take a few minutes to browse through the site, and you'll find some other great ideas, too!

While you're going through your Eat This Book plan, encourage your children to get involved too! There is a children's plan available here, and it's a great way to get your kiddos into the habit of reading from their Bibles every day. Even little bits can get in on the action - I read The Jesus Storybook Bible aloud to my newborn son three times cover-to-cover during those early long nursing sessions! If you have a newborn and older children too, this can be a great time for everyone to be together, hearing the Truth.

Above all, don't be frustrated if things don't go exactly as you envision or not everything sinks in. There will be days when your littles don't hear a word you say. There will be times when you get frustrated. There will even be days when you fail. But don't give up! You never know how God will use and bless your efforts to draw your children to Him.

What are other ways you teach your children to love Jesus?